Just what is it about interfaces that brings out the dark side of programmers? I ask this having grappled with a range of GUI-related problems in the past few weeks.

Take my recent attempt to upgrade my ZoneAlarm personal firewall. Once I had removed the free version, which had served me well for two years, and installed the upgrade, I was bombarded by weird messages. For example, on plugging in my digital camera I got a message that said something like, “murdlesplinge.exe is trying to communicate with the Andromeda galaxy by altering its process... Allow/Deny”.

With all due respect to an otherwise admirable product, this was about as much use to the average user as a chocolate teapot.

My interface woes continued when I hired a BMW on a trip to Germany. In spite of a good working knowledge of German, it took me hours to figure out how to switch the radio off. Even then I only managed to shut the thing up by selecting to connect it to a non-existent external sound source using its miniature joystick. The concept of an “off” switch does not appear to have occurred to the designers.

Then there was the KLM e-ticket check-in at London Heathrow. It claims to accept passport, credit card or airline reference numbers to complete the electronic check-in. It was far from obvious how it would scan a passport or which way up it should be, so I chose the credit card option. Unfortunately, the recessed slot is too small for big fingers. While I was desperately trying to get the credit card in, it timed out on me and then informed me that I was checked in successfully but didn’t issue a boarding card. On my second attempt, I managed to insert my card in time. It checked me in again and invited me to take my bags to “bag drop”, but again failed to issue a boarding card. At this point, I decided to use the airline reference number option. This went swimmingly until it asked me for the 13-digit airline reference number and presented a numeric pad. Unfortunately, my number had six letters and numbers.

I was getting a bit desperate by this time so I asked an assistant for help. The young woman said the passport option worked best, although I think what she really meant was the passport option was the only one that worked. A large number of clicks later, I managed to check in.

At my university, we nail the student’s hands to the keyboard if they design systems like this.

Only kidding.