According to Privacy International, Google is to privacy what net curtains are to exhibitionist sex, more or less mortal enemies.

The privacy group released a report last week that rated the searchzilla as "hostile" to privacy – a bit like my auntie at Christmas. "So," she might say, "what about that incredibly private thing that everyone else is skirting around. How is that? Is it still sore?" You get the picture. In less familial terms, this means that Google is one of those firms that has done very little to protect users' information. Out of 20 other companies studied over a six-month period, it came out bottom of the pops. In Pop Idol parlance, it won't be coming to London.

The release of the research kicked off something of a war of words between the watchdog and the alleged online window-peeker.

Google said that Privacy International had a conflict of interest because of some board-level ties with Microsoft – a suggestion that the body strongly denied.

In an open letter to Google, Privacy International said: "Google performed very poorly, scoring lowest among the major companies that we surveyed." It then suggested that Google's complaints were nothing more than sour grapes, adding " we have no specific axe to grind with Google".

But, if it did, would its axe-grinding be that misplaced? This is not the first time that Google's privacy credentials have been picked over. I visited its Dublin office with a German journalist last year. If he could have got away with it, Herr Notepad would have sprayed paint over all the CCTV cameras in the office, and worn a large fake beard and oversized hat as we were given our tour. He was so paranoid about his privacy, that I suspect he avoided all cups and made sure he left no evidence of his DNA anywhere in the building. I was far less discriminate – even going so far as to not bother washing my hands after going to the loo.

My internet usage probably leaves the sort of tell-tale trail normally left by Hovis-munching children walking through witch-infested woods, but because this information is only used to profile me, and market to me, I just let it be. What is the worst thing that can happen? I get served adverts for software that deletes my web history? To be honest, I probably need it.

But not everyone is like me. And with its pushes into the enterprise, and its continued ubiquity in all things consumer and internet, Google has to start to listen to some of these complaints. If it doesn't, it will find that soon, like with my dear auntie, no one will want to share anything with it that really matters.